Monday

Madam the gardener regrets to report the zucchini is not doing well this season
and the tomatoes have worms.
The cook is making fruit salad with the last of the canned peaches and pineapples.

Tuesday

Madam the gardener regrets to report that it is impossible to keep lettuce alive without water.
The gardener's son is fortunately skilled with a slingshot.
Today the cook has prepared rabbit.

Wednesday

Madam, the upstairs maid resigned this morning.
The gardener reports he found the koi pond empty.
Today the cook has prepared cod.

Thursday

Madam today the downstairs maid discovered the dogs were poisoned.
The gardener reports that the orange tree has been stripped in the night,
and the chicken coop is deserted, but some eggs were left.
Today the cook has prepared crepes.

Friday

Madam the chauffeur was unable to drive the cook to market.
Gas was siphoned from the Rolls and the tires are missing.
The cook has prepared escargot.

Saturday

Madam the gardener is nowhere to be found.
Today the cook has prepared a fine pork roast.

Sunday

Madam I regret to report that the fires are close to the North Wall.
Madam the villagers have carried off the goat and the cook.
I have prepared baked beans and brought the pills you requested.

No thank you Madam. You are too kind.
I would not want to presume.
Please, have another glass yourself.